Short Stories in English

We've entered a new era: the twenty-first century. Of course, it's exciting and we are trying to predict what our life will be like in the future.  It will certainly become better — I'm sure of it.  Robots will do all the dangerous and dirty work for us and our daily life will become easier. They'll sweep the floor, dust the furniture, wash the dishes and even cook! It doesn't mean we'll become lazier, no. When everything is automated, we'll be able to do more creative jobs.  We'll be able to call our friends on a videophone and type up homework by talking to a small gadget that understands the human voice.  Scientists (or probably computers?) will find solutions to our most urgent problems. People will stop dying from cancer and AIDS and will live to be 150 years old.  There will be no more famine on our planet and no more hungry children.  Our cities will become cleaner, greener and safer. We'll drive electric cars and liv

1 The police are looking for a man with one eye called Smith. What’s his other eye called? 2 Tell the passengers that I have both good news and bad news for them. What’s the good news? We are flying in perfect weather and we are making excellent time. And what’s the bad news? We’re lost. 3 Is that your nose or are you just eating a banana? 4 It is Paul’s first day at his new school. Excuse me, young man, but are you chewing gum? No, sir. I’m Paul Welsh. 5 Two sisters are in bed together. Are you asleep? I’m not telling you. 6 Come out of the water. Swimming is not allowed here. But I’m not swimming, officer. I’m drowning. 7 What is the difference between a post box and an elephant? I don’t know. Well, I’m not giving you this letter to post! 8 A small boy is standing next to an escalator. He is looking at the handrail. Is there something wrong? Asks a shop assistant. No. I’m just waiting for my chewing gum to come back. 9 A man is having a meal in a restaurant. Waiter

A Frenchman, who was going to travel in the United States, heard many tales about how difficult it is to get good food and good service in the restaurants in America. On his first day in the United States, when he wanted his dinner, he went from restaurant to restaurant but couldn’t get a meal – it was the dinner hour, and there were so many people in all of them that the waiters didn’t even want to talk to him. After some time, very tired and hungry, he came to a small eating place. To his surprise, a waiter met him at the door, took him to one of the several empty tables, and asked: “What will the gentleman order?” “A plate of beef and a few friendly words.” A few minutes later the waiter put a hot plate of beef before the Frenchman. “Well,” said the man happily. “The beef looks nice. And how about those few friendly words?” The waiter took a sheet of paper and wrote, “Don’t eat that beef.”

Scientists say that in the future people will live longer. With healthier lifestyles and better medical care the average person will live to 90 or 100 instead of 70 and 75 like today. When the human genome is decoded, we'll probably live up to 150. Incurable diseases will be cured and "bad" genes replaced.  But that's tomorrow. And today, we continue to stuff ourselves with fast food — chips and pizzas, hamburgers and hot dogs. We are always in a hurry.  We have no time to enjoy a home-cooked dinner with family and friends. We want to eat now and we want to eat fast.  What is tasty is not always healthy. Doctors say that chips and pizzas are fattening, cola spoils our teeth and coffee shortens our lives.  If we eat too much, we'll become obese, and obesity leads to heart disease, diabetes and other serious illnesses. But the world today is getting fatter and fatter. America is the world's leader in obesity, but Europe is quickly catching up. 

The modern world is becoming smaller all the time. Every day distances between different countries seem less. For this reason it's becoming more and more important to know different languages, especially English.  One billion people speak English today. That's about 20% of the world's population.  400 million people speak English as their first language. For the other 600 million people it's either a second language or a foreign language.  English is the first language in the United Kingdom, the United States of America, Australia and New Zealand. It is one of the official languages in Canada, the Irish Republic and the Republic of South Africa.  As a second language English is spoken in more than 60 countries. It is used by the government, businessmen and universities.  English is the language of politics and diplomacy, science and technology, business and trade, sport and pop music.  80% of all information in the world's computers is in E